I knew a lovely girl with such pretty pride

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 21:15:18 GMT

add, much?

<3catherine

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 03:43:20 GMT

GO JOIN
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[8 underscores]

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Now!

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 17:53:28 GMT

this has been the most fantastic vacation ever. which is why i haven't been updating. i've been too busy! right now i'm on the phone with kristina, and i've never been more satisfied.
this has been my break so far:
FRIDAY: okay, so friday started out with me thinking my vacation was going to be shit. really. i even made an away message saying "it's spring vacation.
i hate vacations. really, i do.
it's 10 days of me being
lazy, and not seeing anyone
who i want to see.
none of them.

5242768. if you're calling it, odds are you're not one of the people i want to see. " [i saved it thinking it was going to be used often]. but my vacation was really the opposite. well, friday. andrea came over after school. then troy. then kristina. then corinna. then michie. than matt. andrea went home, everyone else slept over. sweet. it was wayy fun.
SATURDAY: new paltz all day, when i came home i was bored and worried for my vacation. then i called matt. and asked for morgan's #. but he was at kerri's house with morgan and megan. and then when megan left, my mom picked up morgan matt and kerri and we went back to morgans. me and kerri slept over. matt left around 1. it was great.
SUNDAY: left morgans mid-morning. called sam. went over sams with michie. walked to sccc. spent $10.00 on red bull. i only got 4. i was up nearly half the night. then we walked to the park on franklin across from the sc school, and em's house. so i called em and made her come outside so i could say hello. and christine was with her. and i told em that if sam and michie decide to go anywhere far, i'll come hang out with em and tone. tone is staying with em till tomorrow. [christine left]. joanna came. we went to the playground and sat inside the little house. sam and joanna smoked my cloves. i hate cloves. they are really gross.

i actually have to go now because i'm going to em's.
but i'll finish later.
♥

IF I KNEW HOW TO WALTZ I COULD DANCE TO THIS BEAUTIFUL SONG.

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 00:25:25 GMT

hey!
so i've let that list and some of the people on it take over my life. not so bad. i'm just going mad. really. you can ask anybody. so today, i had like, an episode kind of thing, and it scared me. you see, right after school, i went to the chorus room to look and see if somebody was there [mecrazy], but they weren't. so margie gave me a ride home. i got home, at like, 3:00. sad. and then, for 5 hours, i've been on the computer. working on the community, changing my myspace, listening to the same song over and over again. and what scared me is, is this going to be my summer? sitting around all day doing nothing but being online? thats pathetic. We have spring break in a few days, and there are a few people i'd like to see over the vacation. A lot of them are from the list. but i probably won't. see? i'm a pessimist. it's disgusting.

strangely enough, i've been in a great mood. today is 4/20, and do you see me? coherent? sober? not celebrating? happy? good. i'm glad. i didn't celebrate by choice. and friday, i don't want to go to Tilley's. so i won't. i think i'm done with my stupid decision days. if i want to smoke or drink once in a while, that fine, but i haven't done it in over a month, and things are getting better for me.

i had chinese tonight. sweet.

over the vacation, just for one day, just part, of one day, i'd like to hang out with this person. i really would. it'd be neat. no kidding. will it happen? NOPE. why? because shit like that doesn't happen to me. no kidding. i'm not being pessimistic with this or anything, but, it just doesn't happen. nothing to be sore about. it would be really neat if it did happen though. i hope it does. just by chance? maybe. hopefully.

it took me SO much courage since the day i wrote the list to send it to this person. did i? yes. did i sound crazy? NO KRISTINA. YOU SOUNDED CRAZY. YOU FIEND. [ps sorry i didn't call you back but my ear is now sensitive to everyone except Julie Deply. :D] [TOMATOES?!?!] well, i was shaking, but proud of myself. why am i scared of certain seniors? because i know they hate freshman? probably. but, well, i'm different than other people in my grade. i know that might sound dumb to say, but really, i am. i think more than most of them. and, well, i'm not a drunken whore. like most of my grade. guys or girls. no kidding.

my english grade is getting better cause we're reading catcher, and i've read it before. boy, do i love that book. if i met holden, you couldn't hold me back if you tried. i'd attack him. really, i would.

no.kidding.

♥
PS 5165242768
5166743531
call for vacation plans.

THE MOST IMPORTANT ENTRYYY.

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 00:45:08 GMT

I didn’t update for like, 4 days. Whatever. Okay, so I just tried writing this really nice entry about everyone I love, and then my computer froze and it deleted itself. It was really coming along nicely. I guess I’ll redo it. First-yesterday was amazing, or at least Morgan’s party was amazing. Everything about it. Everyone there made me really happy, and I loved how everybody complimented each other so well. Morgan seemed really happy, and that was great. It’s just such a great group of people. You know what I realized though? And what really sucks? I fucked up. SO badly. I had amazing friends at the beginning of this year. Really, amazing. Just great people. And then, I decided to go and ditch them for a terrible group of people with terrible morals and ideals, and just, crappy everythings. Now that I am realizing this, and I want my old friends back, not only are they just as amazing as they were, but they are willing to get things back. See? Amazing people. I am so lucky to have them, and I am so lucky to be able to say from the bottom of my heart that my friends are as amazing as they get, and mean every word of it. Thank you everyone, for that feeling. So, the list, right. I want to make a list of everyone I talk to, or everyone that means something to me, and send some kind a message to them about my loving them. I’m starting with the freshman, because we are meaningless people. We are SO lucky to be graced with the presence of the sophomores juniors and seniors, and I don’t think many people in our/my grade realize it. The older they are, the more amazing they get.

FRESHMAN
Eva Anderson: eves! I love that we started talking again, because you are such a great person/friend, and I’m glad that we have joined together through tweed. Huh? What? Tweed? TXc forevs<3
Chris Bert: we only started talking about 2 days ago, and before that it had been about 2 years since we even communicated. It’s really cool that we are starting to have the same friends, and that you like plays so much and everything. I like youu.
[x]Sam Blacharski: I love how you and I fight with the same people, and have the same opinions about everyone. Really, you’re great, and I love you. You know I’m here for you. STOP THAT, PLEASE! KEYBOARDS!
GLO!: we started talking very recently, and I love you. You’re so cute. Really. I love you.
[x]Ariel Felix: do you remember how close we used to be? what happened to that? i'd like to know. we both yelling at each other for getting too cool, but i think we just drifted. you are such a funny, cool person, and i really hope we can start hanging out again soon. lovee.
Elliott French: oh, elliott. you really are a sweet boy. i know that so much goes up there in your head, and we have some really great conversations once in a while. i'm just glad that the "heroin" days are over. haha. well, stay cool, kid.
Jenna Frittola: we aren't very close, but we do have some interesting conversations every now and then. idk, i think we became somewhat closer this year. you're really cool, and i'm glad that i got to hang out with you all those times. lovee.
[x]Kristina Gsell: we fight so much because we love each other to pieces. I’m always here for our phone conversations consisting of your curly hair and clay-dough. I love you, you handful. SLAP ON THE KNEE COMEDY.
Marisa Ianelli: haha ohh, you. you funny, funny, character. i love our little conversations in english about backfat. pretty sweet, yo. we should hang out more, you brown boy.
Elly Jalayer: no matter what, I’m always here for you. You know that. I love you.
[x]Joanna Johnson: joanna. we were friends 6th grade, parts of 7th, parts of eigth, parts of this year. whats with all this fucking switching? so many funny memories i have with you, and you really are a great person. thanks for giving me another shot this year. see ya. lovee.
Danica Jorge: haha Danica. we aren't that close, but my friendship with you is basically tlaking about guys we like or the doofyness of the friends we share. well, whatever, it's cool. you are such a cool person, and hanging out with you is really fun. see yaa.
[x]Troy Kreiner: I love you we NEED to start hanging out more.
[x]~~Michelle~~ ~~Michie~~ Doofy Mastellone: I love you SO much. I don’t know what I’d do without you, michie. You’re SO funny and sweet. And just like, amazing. I love you.
[x]Sara Mellett: what can I say? 3 years. No matter who are friends are, who are friends aren’t, who we’re fighting with, who we like, who we hate, we always have each other at our sides. Mad love, son.
[x]Celine Ordioni: move back now?
Kelsey Osbourne: idk even know when we became so close. but i love you SO much. you are such a sweet person, and you're so funny. your fascination wtih my family is really funny. lol, well, i'm glad that you're in my grade so i get you very year!! lovee
Matt Pinto: you are a really sweet boy. I really like you. Lets hang out more. Kay?kay. you know my number. So call it sometime.
[x]Alex Welch: turtle/pig love. You’re great. I love how our plans never work out. Haha. Sweet. Loveee.
[x]Claude Zeins: I’m glad you’re last. Because you mean more to me than everyone in this grade combined. Since 7th grade we have had this friendship that builds and builds and becomes so intense that we break apart for periods of time. Claude, you mean the world to me. It’s amazing how us, two opposite people, can have such similarities. I love how for 2 years our friendship was based on 4 main things.
1-Mimi Yu & Curved Slightly
2-Movies
3-Making fun of EVERYONE. Even our own families.
4-Feeling sorry for ourselves
Claude, no matter what happens, you have to know that I can’t get sick of you. You are my brother. You’re so great, and I love you. Thank you, for giving me the chance to learn enough about you to say all that and know that there are pages more I could write about us.

SOPHOMORES
oh, the sophomores. This is intense. Here we go.
Eli Berger: Eli, you are one of the sweetest most caring people I have ever met and I love you dearly. You know how to make me laugh till I like, don’t have any tears left from crying so hard. Yet, your flattery and inner-beauty is just, UGH. Fantastic. I love you.
Emily Berthold: the only thing I can say is that, in less than a year, you’ve changed my life. You really are one of the greatest people I’ve ever known, and I love being around you. Even though you got me sick. It’s okay. It’s fun! Haha, I love you so much, and one day, we will go out for breakfast. Oh, and I haven’t even seen you today but since it’s tones birthday, you’re probably having a REALLY good face/ac day. Oh, and holla.
Ali Caraccio: I totally love you. Call me.
Serena Chang: STAGE CREW FOR LIFE. haha i love youu. it sucks that the bamboozle didn't work out. you're such a cool, stylish, funny person, and working with you for the shows has been an absolute blast. i hope to see you in stage crew next year? lovee.
[x]Jamie Erdheim Jamie, you are so amazing. I love you to bits, and when we hang out, god it’s hilarious. Really, you’re just amazing. I love our talks and our jokes and just everything about our friendship. I totall dig your bod. Huh, what? THE PARTY’S ALL HERE! YEA. NOBODY LIKES A SOUR PUSS. OR YOURS. OOOH. Call me and we’ll hang out. Soon. Even though I saw u yesterday. Idc. I want MORE.
Alex Horn: alex! we started to become better friends at the beginning of the year. right before i switched. well, now we kind of started talking again. over morgan, haha. you are ridiculously hilarious, and i totally love it. i'll talk to you later, mann. oh yea. and l33t will live on.
Michele Gilbert: it’s been ages, fidget. Lets talk soon. We really need it. Really. We do.
[x]Jenna LaSpina: OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU! you are such a great person, and what morgan said about you thinking you're lame, but really you're great, she was right. you are SO funny, and you're "point" thing is amazing. that night at starbucks/jamies was so fun, and we really should hang out more. lovee.
[x]Kara Plassmann: why did we not talk the entire middle of the year? My fault. I love you so much kara. Really. “HEYYY GUYSSSSSSSS!” haha. It’s really funny. Love you.
[x]Christine Pess: I love knowing you. Having conversations with you makes me feel so much smarter. You are just, a great friend, and a phenomenal person. Why you like me is just beyond anything I can think of, but, whatever it is that’s keeping us together, lets not let it get away.
[x]Morgan Smith: I have known you since forever. Morgan, seriously though, I love you. SO much. If you want to know what I think, just read your birthday letter again. You threw a lovely party. I really enjoyed it, and I really liked sleeping over. “that sucks..” “why does that suck for you!?” hahha oh you crazy cat. Love youu.

JUNIORS
[notice as I continue with the grades, the amount of people I know is decreasing.]
[x]Emily Barrett YO!::rips off right arm with left hand, swings it in waving motion:: You are seriously awesome. Remember Pac-man? Why don’t we talk anymore? How am I supposed to know? But we have to talk more!
Paul Dakin: Paul, honestly, you’re the funniest person I know. Fourth periods have been spectacular. You are just such a great guy, and as Morgan said yesterday, you need a TV show. With Queen Latifah. And Tim+Marie Antuanette. Haha.
um..Ringo: you honestly take my breath away. ::sigh::
[x]Jeremy Hammond: Jeremy, lets be honest. All we do is fight. Really. But, then we’ll have some conversations that just override everything else. You seem to actually care, hence the fighting and yelling, and I thank you for that.
[x]Kerri Koczen: Ohhh ~~Charlie~~ Kerri. Although you are mean to me sometimes, you are one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. You’re SO funny in your own way, and incredibly talented, and just, great. You are someone that I am grateful to call my friend. I’m really glad that we get another year together. Oh, and how can I forget your SWEET cat reflexes. And byof. Oh, and sorry for smelling like cigarettes and making you back away. Well, now I have to stop. You know why though.
Stevo Lepore: ohh, backfat. What can I say? You’ve been nothing but really cool to me since the day I met you. Hanging out with you has just been really fun, and raising our grades in English was ridiculous. The class didn’t know what to do with themselves. Fourth period corner + sixth period corner + sixth period street = FoLife. Mad love, son. {happytree<3]
Antonia Laruccia: Tone.. I’ve known you since I was in 6th grade. We have only started communicating with each other on a daily basis recently, but, well, um, I love you. I think you and nae are really cute together, and I really like how you have opinions on everything. We really should hang out more, and happy birthday yesterday.
Suzanne Long: SUZZ. Yoo, you’re so ridiculously cool. At the polish hall, you supply my needs, and that’s pretty sweet. Your fan club annoys me, but yo, it doesn’t matter, cause you kick ass. See you laterrr.
Veronica Natale: heyyy. Yea, so I know you from 6th period corner, and you being the one who took care of my stupid friends. well, you’re really cool/sweet, and I like conversing with you lotss. Laterr.
[x]Megan Plassmann: ohh, god. I love you SO much, plassmann. No kidding [:D]. you seriously are an amazing person, and you’re so funny. You listen to me when I have something to say, and you always seem to have a response. You just have to know, that I’m here for you. There is MAD l33t [remember that?] love from me to you, son.
[x]Jen Russo: you are one of the sweetest people i know, and i love that i know you. the shows with you are great, and you have the most incredible voice i've ever heard in person. like, you are the next judy garland. i love youuu.
Ashlee Stanco: Well, we spent that day together at the zoo. yea, pretty sweet. and you're a really sweet person. you're so generous and i'm really glad that we have some of the same freinds and a whole other year together to ecome better friends. see ya.
Jeff Stein: what Morgan said on Friday, about you not being a teenager, she’s right. You aren’t. You’re an adult. You’re SO funny and smart and cool, and your ideas just blow me away. Oh, and I like your beard. Haha, well, movie marathons at your house we’re great. Loveee.

Haa, that was the last of the juniors who I care about.

SENIORS
the seniors. I’ll miss them SO much. I go nuts just thinking about it. Oh, and I know most of them through my brother.

Max Azzarello: ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phoneee. Oh, max. all of those sixth periods will not be forgotten. You’re such a unique, funny, funny guy. I hope you come back after you graduate so I can see you more.
John Bert: well, I don’t know you very well. I have only hung out with you once. Two days before Halloween in sea cliff. But you’re a funny guy. Sucks that you’re graduating.
[x?]Seth Busching: oh, god. Seth. I love you. You are so talented, and funny. I just don’t want you to leave. I’m going to be really upset when you graduate. Please come back to visit. I really am going to miss you.
Joe Caraccio: I think that I like you because you never tried to seduce me. You’re a pretty cool guy, joe. Although, you must already know that. Hah. Aslan is pretty sweet, and well, yanno. you’re pretty funny, and your screamo voice is sweet.
[x]Brooke Cohen: well, you were really great in the play. And I hear from nearly everyone I know how cool you are. But I don’t know you that well, which sucks since you’re graduating. I wish I got to know you better, and since there’s still time left, maybe I will. Who knows? Well, from what I see, you're really cool/funny. Kay. Good luck in college.
Matt Galati: Matt. I LOVE you. We like, rarely talk these days, but when we do, it’s pretty great. From the days where we picked up drunk Caitlin goetz, to the days of you licking my face and taking pictures, I love you to bits. VISIT. Wanna fight?
[x?]Alex Graham: Alex, why are you leaving? Really. I was only with you for 3 shows [lets not forget my sweet SC job in kiss me kate], but I kind of knew you before them because of Peter. I really like working with you, talking to you, or going to Wendy’s with you. You are one talented/sweet/funny boy, and I hope you come back to visit lots.
[x]Margie Micucci: Margie. I love you so much. Like, mean girls and Gilmore girls. You are just such a sweet person, and I really love talking to you and hanging out with you. You better come back to visit lots.
[x]Mike Luciano: Mike. you are such a great person. i don't even have to know you that well to know how great you are. Sean is great so far [i've seen the preview], and i'm honestly grateful to be in it. you are just such a funny guy, and i love your taste in music. i hope that working on Sean can make us better friends, because i'd really like to get to know you better before the end of the year.
Hayley North: Hayley. Ohh hayley. You’re so sweet, and hanging out with you that day was really fun. You’re such a great dancer, and a really cool person, and once you graduate, you most deffinately have to come back for visitsss so we can hang out.
Daryl Steinberg: oh, god. Daryl, you mean so much to me. I love you SO much, and I love just, talking to you. You are an amazing person, and I don’t really have to say ‘i’m gonna miss you next year’, because I know I’ll be seeing you at my house, and with peter/Anthony/natie like, every day. You have had such a strong effect on my life, and I’m so grateful to have even had this year with you. Lovee.
[x]Caroline Shepard: you are SO cool. last year, during KMK, we had this like, connection, that was awesome. i love youu. i love our conversations, and i miss hanging out with you. when we hung out over the summer and watched Igby Goes Down, ughh, i miss those times! we said that we'd hang out this year, but we got so caught up in everything else that it never happened. i really want us to hang out again before you go away to college. lovee.
Jeremy Van Der Heiden: Jeremmyyyyy. You are such a funny guy, and you give me free food, which is really cool. You are such a cool guy, and your taste in music is incredible. Even though we traded my really cool cigarette case for 3 bucks. Well, I’m really glad I had this year with you.
[x]Isabella Vitti: OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU. I love stage crew with you. I love starbucks with you. I love our crew party that never happened. I love youu. You can’t graduate. I won’t let you. Like, I’ll tie you to something, or something. But you CAN’T leave. Ughh loveeeee.
[x]Molly Zeins: well, I’ve known you since I was in 7th grade from Claude. And honestly, I kind of look up to you in a way. You have great friends, you’re really pretty [and a cute boy :P], great clothes, taste in music, you’re really smart. You’re just, a really cool person. I’m really happy that I got to work with you in KMK, SSM, and ED. I’m pretty upset that we didn’t have more time together in school, but I know I’ll see you next year and stuff. Have a great time in college, molly. Good luck. Although, you don’t really need it.

Well, that was my list. I know that half of the people on it won’t read it. It's okay, though. Because I’m glad that I wrote it in the first place. I love all of them. A lot. And if you aren’t on this list, but should be, just IM me at You Are So Lamee and I’ll tell you whether or not I meant to leave you out. :D. well, I hope that everyone reads this. Especially the seniors. Especially. Mwahah.

IF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS LIST, AND YOU ARE ON IT, PLEASE CONTACT ME AND TELL ME SO I CAN MARK YOU OFF [THE MARK IS [X] THAT.]
..i want everyone to see it.

♥ofcoursee.

PSthat fucking list took me about 4+ days.

UGHH

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 01:20:08 GMT

STOP LETTING ME APPLY TO RATING COMMUNITIES. PLEASE. today was okay. i didn't have a cigarette all day, which i was pretty proud of. but it's sad that i go to write this entry and my day without a cigarette is the first thing that comes to mind. it's also sad that i smoke in the first place. not upsetting sad. pathetic sad.

nothing memorable happened today. emily has ..i'm not even going to try and spell it. throat problems, and when she speaks, she sounds like a different person. whatevs. and that senior, who has NOTHING to do with a flower jamie, haha, wasn't there today. i don't think so at least. i think i should stop talking about her. name or no name. it's lame that i think so much about people. it's good she doesn't know who i am. well, i had another conversation with ella tonight. i miss that girl. and i went to kristina's house today. we did that thing where you take the air out of a whipped cream bottle. it was fun while it lasted. i haven't smoked or drank for 3 weeks/1 month! not too long, but it's pretty good for me. i think i'll smoke soon. it's been a while, and i kind of miss it. whatever.

lots of bright eyes and straylight today.
do i look like a troll? does my nose look like a steakbone? am i a 'poser'?
these are questions that rating communities force me to ask myself. ::sigh::

well. i'm going now. i have english and math homework i have to do.

i'm not as dumb as they think i am. no kidding. i'm not.

♥

SO HURRY UP AND RUN TO THE ONE THAT YOU LOVE AND BLIND HIM WITH YOUR KINDNESS

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 02:03:49 GMT

Hey everybody! today was a pretty good day today. We started talking about Catcher In The Rye, and i love it. The whole day was kind of a blur. literally. i need glasses. after school joanna called me gay. idk what i said, but she called me gay. so i said "no i'm not" and this is basically how it went:
JOANNA: GOD CATHERINE, YOU'RE SO GAY.
ME: NO I'M NOT.
JOANNA: UM.. YES YOU ARE?
ME: NO..I'M NOT. IF I'M GAY THEN SO ARE YOU.
JOANNA: UH, WHY AM I GAY?
ME: BECAUSE I'M STRAIGHT. NOT GAY. SO IF I'M GAY THEN SO ARE YOU.
JOANNA: GOD YOU'RE GAY.
ME: NOPE. LITERAL. NOT GAY.

that conversation intrigued me. a lot. and by the way, my senior situation is no better than yesterday. i talked to ella today. long conversations. 2 of them. really good ones. i like her. i like english slang. it sucks that there is such a long time difference. and emily flattered me today. she said i was smart and intuitive. i don't know if she's right or not, but the fact that she said it made me smile. and i had a long conversation with plassmann today. megan, not kara. i'm glad. i like her too. we talked about catcher in the rye and my senior issue. i get so set on these things. part of the conversation i think you should say. it was this.
megan's sn: but w/e dont worry about ////// she's cool but not cool enough to stress yourself out about not being friends with her
you are so lamee: because idk why i care so much.
you are so lamee: not even friends. just to hold a conversation with her so i can say to myself "yea i talked to her shes either cool or not so cool". idk. i get so nuts about these things. it happened with //// too, but she is just mean to freshman because we annoy her. but i've seen ////// talk to freshman, so i don't think thats the case. i guess i just get caught up in talking to people that look interesting.
^^thats it. but it's true.

i had tacos for dinner tonight. my mom and i spent a half hour putting together soft tacos and hard tacos just for the two of us, and we talked about michael jackson all through dinner. no kidding.

well, i'm really starting to like LiveJournal again. even if i don't want to write an entry, after i do, i never ever regret it.

i hope these situations work out.
and if you're having a situation, i hope it works out.

♥

SPRAWLED ACROSS THE BED, AND WE. WERE DREEEAAMMIN'.

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 02:36:25 GMT

Today was a great day for me. very hard, but great. first period in bio i was worried because i didn't have this packet i told my teacher i'd have for her. i didn't have my cards to do the work, so i just didn't get it. but luckily, she forgot too. then in acting i did my group scene with kerri. i realized that with improv or acting, i tend to break out in breakdowns of past information about the character. i can make a funny scene dramatic. pretty sweet, i guess. but yea, it was just such a weird concept for a scene. our group scene was:
ME: SAM, SHOESTORE EMPLOYEE FOR TWENTY YEARS, EVERY WEEK FOR THE TWENTY YEARS OF SAM'S EMPLOYMENT, SHE HAS BEEN STEALING A PAIR OF SHOES. SHE HAS BEEN CAUGHT WITH A PAIR OF SHOES, AND CONFESSES TO IT ALL.[i added in this part so it would make a little more sence]SAM HAS BEEN TAKING A PAIR OF SHOES WEEKLY SO SHE COULD SELL THEM IN HER OWN BUSINESS AND MAKE MORE MONEY FOR HER 2 KIDS AND HUSBAND. HER HUSBAND HAS BEEN PRESSURING HER, EVEN AFTER SAM STARTED TO FEEL VERY GUILTY FOR STEALING THE SHOES, SINCE SHE IS NOW ON A FIRST NAME, GREATLY FRIENDLY BASIS WITH CATHY.
KERRI: CATHY, SHOESTORE OWNER, DISCOVERS THAT SAM HAS BEEN STEALING SHOES, IS DEVISTATED, BUT FORCED TO FIRE HER.
yeaa man. fuckin' weirdd.

so in english i handed in my Romeo & Juliet essay. i'm SO happy to be done with shakespeare for now. i respect him and his work very much, but i just don't understand it. Today we got catcher in the rye. and for the first time in MONTHES, i participated in english. me and stevo are gonna get at least 80's this quarter. i knoww it. catcher in the rye is one of my favorite books, and reading it for school and writing about it is like play. i'm really happy. i have a 91 for the quarter in math. i'm shaping up.

after school i hung out for a while, and then talked to kerri and kristina and claude. i really like those people. kristina said clay-dough rather than play-dough and i laughed for a while. i laugh at the things she does, simply because of who she is. it isn't even what she does anymore. i love her to death, but i'm terribly worried about how she'll be in a few monthes. and kerri is really cool too. she got me into say anything. yea, pretty sweet. she's a really great actress, and doing a scene with her was fun. claude. oh and claude. what a sweet boy. i really like hanging out with him, and coming up with ideas for this Mimi Yu movie we're making. he showed me the royal tenenbaums. to anyone who hasn't see it-go.now. gwenyth paltrom + luke wilson = um amazing?
ohh boyy.

i saw the Sean preview today. it is SO great. godd. and i was also at the middle school for a bit with claude, emily, kerri, tom, brianna and mike. very funny group of people. iiii like 'em. [and for the THOUSANDTH time. 'em = them, NOT emily. hay-zues chris-toe.]

there is this person. who seems really cool. i hear from everyone how cool they are, but they give me weird looks. aparently they give everyone dirty looks. this person is a senior, and it makes me sad since the year is almost over. before the school year ends, i would like to have a conversation with this person. just one. i think it would be interesting. ::sigh::

♥alwaysofcourse.

TODAY.

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 02:23:43 GMT

so today. i slept over jamie's last night. it was nice. i fell asleep during casablanca but shawshank redemption was really good. yea, so after katie and jenna left me and jamie watched spongebob. ahaha. ohh that yellow little sponge gets me everytime. so then jamie had plans with mindy, so i went with her for a bit. we went to tex mex. then 7-11. then my mom gave them a ride to sea cliff beach. i hadn't really talked to mindy before. she's funny. i like hanging out with jamie. there has been a lack of it lately, but i think that will change soon. or at least i hope so.

i came home and spent the rest of the day online. i got home at like 5 so it wasn't too long. but yea, i applied to this community [scientific_] that jamie reccomended since i like rating communities so much. i just thought they were fun to apply to. well. don't apply to this community unless you're really cool, and really pretty. some of the responses actually made me cry. i have been fine with other rejections. some pretty harsh ones too. like 2 people left 2 different comments saying "i was going to say yes until i got to the pictures" and "do you have a moustache??" well, those comments even made me chuckle a little bit. but on this one there was a thread of comments that said:
no
4limbs
2005-04-09 23:36 (link) Select
conor oberst is ugly & reminds me of my ex boyfriend who i hate right now.
plus ugly people shouldn't make signs verifying they are real.
(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: no
theotherxtina
2005-04-09 23:38 (link) Select
ugly people shouldn't make signs verifying they are real.

that made my heart smile :D
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)

Re: no
4limbs
2005-04-09 23:40 (link) Select
it's true though. noone gonna fake being you anyway.
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)

Re: no
4limbs
2005-04-09 23:40 (link) Select
-noone's

i had no idea i was THAT terrible to look at. i don't like rating communities anymore.

so using blockbuster online my mom got me season two of gilmore girls on dvd. i'm in the middle of an episode right now, but i paused it. actually, i think it's the second episode, since i have it on "play all". but i'm not sure. well, if anybody would like to hang out with me tomorrow gimmie a call.
5165242768
5166743531
either one is fine.

oh and sorry for apologizing too much.
i really do it a lot these days.

♥cathh

EXCITING.

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:26:11 GMT

so, yesterday i didn't update. so i have to update twice today. yesterday:

okay, so yesterday i had an okay day. i found out that my final grade in knight is between a 67-70. sweet. and he said that his comment is going to be "shows improvement." can you say ENGLAND? mhmm. but yea, by the end of the day, everybody was just acting so doofy and strange that it made me want to spend the whole weekend by myself. my shirt and and bag arrived from UG, so i went over Kristina's house to get it. then she took a few pictures of me, including my salute for any rating communities. yanno the 2 communities i was talking about? well, one of them didn't even post my app, and is rarely updated, so i don't care. and the other two both rejected me. i don't get why somebody would reject you from one community but invite you to another. such thick headed people. hmph.

so, kristina then went to jamie's with katie a. and jenna l. and i went online. and then andrea came over, and we watched mallrats. or at least part of it. then Isabella IMed me and said she was going to starbucks with jamie and kristina and them and asked if i wanted to go. so, andrea and i set plans for next friday, since she didn't want to meet any new people, and i went to starbucks. it was pretty cool. kristina and i saw some sweet connects we got. yanno, us gangstas got our outside peepz. damn straight. yea, and then i went back to jamie's. kristina and isabella had to leave, but i slept over with kaity and jenna. we watched shawshank redemption and casablanca. the other two left this morning, but i'm still here. jamie's in the shower. when she gets out we are going to tex mex with mindy. why do i feel like this entry is turning into an uber-long away message?

watevs.
♥cathh

PS NEW LAYOUT!
PPS LOOK AT MY EMOTICONS. SWEET LEMONS.

Today.

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 00:24:07 GMT

Today wasn't that bad. I got a 100 on a big english project that me and stevo have been working on for about 2 weeks. it was really cool. and since my dad said if i get As Bs and Cs he'll pay for england, Mr. Knight said he'd agree to a C. thank god. I found out that a whole group of people are going to England on their own, because of how much cheaper it is. and since it's over the summer, i might just be able to convince my parents. after school me and sam walked to her house and then sccc. it was fun. we saw a whole bunch of people, and danielle and hoy followed us basically to sam's house. oh dear.

well, in acting today first kerri did her solo scene and it was SO good. it kind of shocked me. she's very multi-talented. then emily went. oh goddd hers was so good. it was really sad. all of the scenes are sad. except mine. mine is dumb. i'm locked in a closet in space. yea, idk either. but anyway, emily's was short and sweet, and i really liked it. then kelsey went, and it started out iffy, but then it turned out really good and i liked it a lot. then roksana went. she copied kerri in a lot of ways. well, it didn't make a difference because kerri is still better than her. my solo scene is monday 6th period, and my group scene is monday in class with kerri. i know the override for the school computer so i check my myspace/livejournal/mail everyday around 4/6/7 period. one of the 3.

sccc was nice. i got a small coffee regular and a donut. and the donut was great. but while i was there i bummed out 3 cigarettes. two of them were for employees. even though stevo was one of those two, he still works there so he counts as an employee. then i came home. and i've been on computer basically since then.

i applied for 2 rating communities. just to see what people think of me, yanno? well. one of them didn't even post my application that i took like a half hour to do, and the other one has had people rejecting me since 2 minutes [literally] after i posted it. it isn't that big of a deal, it is a huge community deal that if people don't like you there is nothing you can do about it. well. i'm listening to cope. california, to be exact. this song always makes me so upset. but it's so pretty, so i can't help but listen to it. well, everything will work out.

♥

Today Was No Good.

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 01:42:22 GMT

today was so sad for some reason. last night after i wrote that entry i like broke down to my mom about how badly i want to go to england, and how the people in the program next year are not from Brighton, and they are not that cool. or as cool as the people i met this year. the kidds this year, we shared the same interest, tastes in music, and the fact that they came here because of their huge interest in theater made it twice as interesting. well, i found out that if i went with the school, it would be 2000 dollars. but if i went on my own, it would be about 700. so much for a fucking school discount, m8.

so today i told emily a lot about how i feel, and i told her things that i've been trying to get into words for monthes. idky, but nothing worked out the way i planned. i'm too needy. i am. and i cried twice today. i wasn't able to cry for months, but for some reason, last night i was in hysterics for about 2 hours. and i have advice for everyone who goes through fases like that. do not listen to bright eyes while crying. you will automatically stop crying, and become disgustingly numb [in an emotional sense]yea, well. i hate that i cried in school. cause i had to do it in the bathroom. or else when people see you it shows as a sign of weakness. and since shit last year, any sign of weakness is not what i need.

today after school i hung out with claude morgan matt emily and paul. it was actually really nice. we sat on emily's porch and did not run around in any fields. i hope it can happen again, cause i really enjoyed it. then i went home and stevo came over and we watched thirteen and worked on our english project. those fucking characters are really hard to make. damn dioramas. well, now i'm here, online, updating my live journal, and i feel nothing but nostalgia. for last week. for last weekend. for the beginning of this year. for everything.

♥catherine

I'm Back. And I'm Having Issues.

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 01:36:52 GMT

so, i haven't been on livejournal for a really long time. but i realized that i need a livejournal to like, function. it's sort of ridiculous. i advise everyone who doesn't have one to get one. even if no one comments, you can still have fun making it pretty. well, i'm back. but mainly because i'm having issues. let me

_________________________________________________________________________________________

so, back in february, the arts department in my school sent all the students [in the arts department] to Italy. traveling around Italy. everywhere. the reason i didn't go is because the day i got the sheet, i went home and asked my mom. when i asked her, she said it was expensive and that she'd call my dad about it. the next day she came to me saying that i can't go cause it's too expensive, without saying anything about my dad. when january came around, i wanted to go to Italy SO badly. all of my friends were going. and so i figured i'd call my dad and try to convince him. well, once i called him it turned out he had no idea. he said if i came to him when i found out i would've gone, but since i came to him too late, i can't go. i was devistated, but i honestly figured that my vacation wouldn't be so bad. i went skiing the first 2 days of the break. then the day i came back i slept over this girl Sydney's house with my friend Sam, and we smoked pot and got caught. it was lame, but whatever. Sydney tried to blame it on me, because she didn't seem to have any interest in hanging out with me again. i didn't really care, i just thought she was an idiot. so the next morning her mom called my mom and told her. and my mom grounded me the whole vacation. and then instead of calling sam's mom, they called her dad. and he didn't care at all. she doesn't live with her dad, so he couldn't punish her upfront, and he also didn't tell sam's mom. obviously, neither did she. sydney got out of trouble real quick, but my mom grounded me the whole break. it was the most depressing experience of my life. i swear. even when i was allowed out, the people who said they'd call never did. i wasn't surprised, but they did it everyday and it really got to me. am i that hard to be around that people can't even call me back? i just don't get it. is it so hard to call me up and lie at least? i mean, lying is no better, but, it was better than nothing. so when the italy crew got back, i promised myself that i'd become friends with my old friends again. my good friends. the ones who liked being around me. but it almost seemed as though the people who were trying so hard to give me more chances just didn't care anymore. they at least call. they wouldn't intentionally hurt me, but i still find myself sitting home alone watching gilmore girls or learning myspace html. but still, nothing was the same as it was. i got so upset over things not being the same again, so giving up weeddrinkingvics was like, the only thing i could do to prove to everyone that i want to be the way i was. but it's like i'm screaming at everyone right in their ear saying "I'M SO SORRY. I'M BETTER NOW. I'M SO SORRY." and they can't hear me. cigarettes is the one thing i'm having trouble quitting at the moment. but i am trying. i swear i am. right, so since feb. i've been trying so ahrd, asking people to hang out, not hanging out with any of the people that hurt me over february break[sam didn't hurt me btw. i just thought it was unfair that i got in big trouble and she didnt. but no. me and sam. we tight. tight like tight jeanz]. just, doing a good job at it. and i have just regretted not going to Italy so much. i feel like i have missed out on everything. if i went to Italy, i could've gotten my friends back. and i could've stopped myself from spending the rest of the year moping around like a loser. but no, i was an idiot, and didn't call my dad from the beginning. yea, so lately i've just been so busy trying to get my grades back up, trying to quit cigarettes, and trying to get my friends back, that i completely disregarded the fact that i would kill for an english exchange student when i heard about the whole exchange. a bunch of my friends kept talking about them, but i didn't care. i was just worried about getting my friends back. thats it. so then the first day comes along and the english kid's arrive, and i realize from the second they get here that i wanted one to stay with me. that it would be someone in my house keeping me company when no one else would. i really wanted to hang out with them. so all of last weekend, i spent hanging out with them. i got as close as i could, and i really like them. a lot. the first people i have met in so long that were nice and liked me from the start. i wish they could've stayed longer. i got pretty close with a few of them, and then today they left. it was so fast. i tried so hard for 8 days to make friends with these foreign kids that weren't even staying with me, and then by the time i got close to any of them, they were leaving. so they left today, and everybody thought it was so weird that i was so upset about these people leaving, even though none of them stayed with me. i rally liked them. and i wanted to go to england, i felt like if i could get one of these kids to stay at my house for the program, or i went to england, it could make up for italy, and i'd be happy again. well. mr. soto said i can't go with the school to england. because i didn't have one stay at my house. ella [one of the girls staying at my friend's house] told me to come for the first week of summer and stay with her anyway, since my friend isn't going. and that would be so amazing. but, idk if my parents would let me do it if it wasn't for the school. well, i feel like now if i don't go to england, i'll be missing out on everything that i should've experienced in my freshman year. i feel like it could've made me happier if i went. ::sigh:: well, i hope i go, and at this point, hope is all i have left. sorry for this uber-long entry. i just needed to say all of this.finally.

♥catherine.